How to start feeling better about yourself and regain true happiness

  1. Note Your Positive Qualities and Identify Your Strengths

The first thing you should do in order to improve how you feel about yourself is to identify your key skills. Start right now by listing out 5 to 10 things you are good at.

I know what a lot of people what are going to say…”I can’t think of any skills.” A friend of mine said this very same thing to me today! But that is just because you are not viewing things you are good at as skills.

For example, if you are good at listening that is a skill, but most people completely overlook that. You could be a good cook, a good parent a good friend. It does not matter, just be sure to list out a few things that you are good at so you put yourself in a positive frame.

Here is my list:

  1. I am a strong critical thinker
  2. I am a good friend
  3. I am a good writer
  4. I am a good accountant
  5. I am good at working out

Very quick exercise, but it defiantly makes you feel good! Next, you need to list out 5-10 things that make you happy.

Here is my list:

  1. My dog makes me happy
  2. My Girlfriend makes me happy
  3. My Parents and family make me happy
  4. Playing guitar makes me happy
  5. Helping others makes me happy

Now that you have identified your skills and the things that make you happy you should already start to feel better.

2. Reframe Yourself

Since I know a lot of you will say you do not have skills you also probably have issues with how you frame yourself. What this means is who do you really identify yourself as. Are you a 9-5 desk worker or are you a really good dad?

This is all up to who you are, but hopefully you can use things from your skills and happiness list to help better frame who you believe you are.

For example, I wrote that I am a good writer and that I like helping people. My new frame that I view myself in could be I am an author who writes best selling books to help others.

See how framing can take you from thinking poorly about yourself to thinking highly of yourself?

3. Know what you can and cannot control

This is something from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations.The idea is that the stoics only focus on the things that are in their control and do not let things out of their control bother them.

This is a great philosophy for making yourself happy! Instead of dwelling on things completely out of your control you just do not let it bug you.

Let’s think about the things that are in your control.

  1. Yourself
  2. Your feelings
  3. How you react to things
  4. Your thoughts
  5. Your actions

Lets think about the things that are out of your control

  1. How others act
  2. Other people’s feelings
  3. How other people think
  4. Things of nature like health, sickness
  5. Random acts

This means that you should ignore how other people are acting, or at least do not let it bother you. This can be very challenging for a lot of people. What I suggest is that you start by trying to be aware that you are worrying about things that are out of control and move on.

If you start to worry about what others are thinking of you just acknowledge it, say to yourself this is out of my control and go on with your day! Do this with everything out of your control and you will see a huge improvement!

4. Take Care of Yourself

Now start focusing only on the things that are within your control. For example, your skills and the things that make you happy! Work on your skills and surround yourself with the things that make you happy.

Make time for the people and the things that make you happy. Make sure that you get at least one of those in a day! At least! Focus on your skills and continue to develop them.

Lastly, focus on your health. Make sure you are eating good foods and exercising frequently. You will be surprised how all of this together will lead you to becoming extremely happy.

I hope you all the best! I am coming out with a happiness course in the near future. Sign up to my email list below and you will get notified when the course comes out and you will get a free workbook to help you become your best self!



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